i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
