Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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