it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
