Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
