You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
