Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
