spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
