There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
