Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
