Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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