Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
