lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
