I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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