It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
