As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
