Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
