I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
