I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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