Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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