I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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