I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
