I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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