I think my fart just growled at me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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