I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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