I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize