I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize