She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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