we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
