I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
