For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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