So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
