Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
