He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
