I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
