i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
