New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Who put my cat in the fridge?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
