just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
