Your mouth is God's brothel.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
dude i'm inner monologue high
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
