Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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