Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
