my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
