I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
