Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
