their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
