Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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