we're blogging at a bar
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
