i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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