is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
