So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
