office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
