I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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