Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
