At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
