i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
