problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize