Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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