Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
