i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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