he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
