You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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