porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
