and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
