I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
