:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
